The Nervous System and Why It Matters for ADHD

Understanding ADHD Through the Lens of the Nervous System

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is more than just difficulty focusing—it is deeply connected to the nervous system. Understanding how the nervous system functions can help parents, educators, and individuals with ADHD navigate challenges and build effective strategies for self-regulation.

The Role of the Autonomic Nervous System

The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) controls involuntary bodily functions, such as heart rate, breathing, and digestion. It has two key branches:

• Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) – The body’s “fight-or-flight” response.

• Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) – The “rest-and-digest” system that promotes relaxation and recovery.

People with ADHD often experience dysregulation of the ANS, meaning they may have difficulty shifting between these states, leading to heightened stress responses or difficulty calming down.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: ADHD and Survival Mode

When the nervous system perceives a threat—whether real or perceived—it triggers a survival response. People with ADHD tend to experience these states more frequently and intensely due to differences in nervous system regulation.

• Fight – Reacting with anger, frustration, or defiance.

• Flight – Escaping situations, avoidance, or excessive movement.

• Freeze – Feeling stuck, unable to start tasks, or zoning out.

• Fawn – People-pleasing, over-apologizing, or seeking excessive reassurance.

This survival mode can make it hard for kids and adults with ADHD to engage in everyday tasks, relationships, and responsibilities.

Profile of woman meditating

How do we Learn Self-Regulation?

Think back to how we soothe infants: with our tone of voice, picking them up in our arms, rocking or swaying. We borrowing another's regulation and energy until we develop our own. Co-regulation happens when a calm, supportive person helps someone regulate their emotions and nervous system. If you are a parent, here are some ways to model regulation and allow your child to borrow your energy.

Ways to foster co-regulation:

• Taking care of our own needs, triggers and limiting beliefs to be able to regulate first

• Maintaining a calm tone, body language, and physical presence to create a safe space

• Using empathetic listening to help the other person feel understood

• Validating ALL emotions by helping name and move through them

• Joining them in a task or chore or even just the same room to get started and/or follow through

• Providing structure and predictable routines to reduce nervous system overwhelm

• Anticipating and meeting their physical and/or sensory needs

And while this is imperative for ADHD children, it is also particularly important for adults who may not have had self-regulation modelled in childhood.  Many of us are still leaning on co-regulation whether its cuddling a pet, body-doubling to get work or chores done, or depending on a friend or spouse for calm and reassurance.

Self-Regulation Strategies

The good news is self-regulation, managing emotions, behaviors, and energy levels effectively, is a skill to be learned. Stress, sensory input, decision fatigue, and emotional intensity can keep your body stuck in survival mode—making regulation feel impossible when you need it most.

ADHD nervous systems are often more sensitive to stress and ADHD impacts the brain’s ability to regulate emotions and impulses, making it harder to move out of a dysregulated state and slower to settle after activation.

That means regulation usually needs external support, not willpower. When your brain is overwhelmed, it’s hard to remember what helps. Coming up with a predetermined list of go-to regulating activities and supports, some that take seconds and others for when you have more time, can make all the difference.

Here are some of the many tools and practices that have been shown to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and complete stress cycles, bringing awareness to the present moment, discharging excess energy, and reducing overwhelm:

• Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness and grounding techniques

• Regular exercise and movement breaks

• Time in nature

• Temperature changes like cold or hot drinks, cold water on the face or arms, or a shower

• Crunchy snacks or ice, flavored gum

• Hydrating

• Music, singing, or humming

• Somatic experiencing, EFT (tapping), bilateral stimulation and other therapies focused on physiological awareness

• Sleep

• Emotional release including crying or laughing

• Playfulness and fun activities

• Sensory tools like weighted blankets or fidgets

• Therapy and coaching to develop emotional resilience

Download this FREE menu summarizing these strategies to hang up in your home, office, or on your phone wallpaper for quick reference when you need support regulating:

The Nervous System Reset Menu: A Visual Guide to Self-Regulation With ADHD

Final Thoughts

By understanding how the nervous system influences ADHD, we can move beyond behavior-based solutions and focus on biological regulation strategies. Supporting both self-regulation and co-regulation helps ADHD individuals feel safer, more focused, and more in control of their daily lives.

👉 Need Help with Self-regulation or Co-regulation?

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